What keeps me sane....................
My family! That's what keeps me sane. And conversations like this.
Tif: Mom, I'm at Target. Do you need anything?
Me: Yes, I do. Thanks for asking. I need 2 things. Wait, maybe 3. Possibly 4."
I start naming the things I need, and Tif says:
"Mom, can you just text all that to me? You're driving me insane, I'm not gonna lie."
Love her!
Tif: Mom, I'm at Target. Do you need anything?
Me: Yes, I do. Thanks for asking. I need 2 things. Wait, maybe 3. Possibly 4."
I start naming the things I need, and Tif says:
"Mom, can you just text all that to me? You're driving me insane, I'm not gonna lie."
Love her!
Put the bag of potato chips down. Stress eating is not the answer!
My life is much too busy lately. And it's my fault. I guess I thought it would be a good idea to over-extend myself just for fun. The good news? It's a temporary situation. Here's the schedule. Last weekend was Lila's birthday party. This weekend we're going to Dutch Wonderland with some friends. Next weekend is our women's club fundraiser- the biggest of the year. I'm working Thursday, Friday and Sunday. Wedged in between is the Down Syndrome Pumpkin Pick on Saturday. The following weekend is Parent's Weekend/Homecoming at Justin's school in Pennsylvania. Our local Buddy Walk is the next weekend. As I'm on the committee, I'll be busy Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. The weekend after the Buddy Walk is Nick's high school reunion in New York. You get the picture. The thing is...............well, here's the thing. Even though I'm crazy busy with all that, my mind is completely somewhere else. I'm worried about Lila.
I mentioned in a couple of earlier posts that I am very concerned about the situation at Lila's school. They combined the special education preschool classes into one class this year. It's not something that could be helped, as the school's population tripled in size and I think they just ran out of classrooms. I feel that the ECSE (Early Childhood Special Education) program got screwed, but that's just my opinion. So instead of having a maximum of 10 kids in the room with 2 teachers, there is now a maximum of 20 kids with 4 teachers (2 teachers, 2 aides). On their busiest day they only have 14 kids, but that's a lot of kids. That's a lot of noise. That's a lot of stimulation. For someone with sensory issues, like Lila, that could mean a lot of trouble. And it looks like that's what is happening.
I have heard from both teachers and both aides that they are having problems with Lila. She's not listening very well. It seems that Lila is one of their problem children as we definitely aren't getting positive feedback like other parents are. If I thought this was strictly a discipline problem I wouldn't be so worried right now. Somehow I just don't think it is. Lila's actually been getting better at listening when she's at home, especially on the weekends. During the week, when I pick her up from school, she's exhausted but too stimulated to sleep at nap time. I brush her and do joint compressions, which calms her down quite a bit, but I still have to hold her very firmly and rock her until she goes to sleep. That usually takes 15-20 minutes when she's been at school but much less time on the weekends. In the evenings on school days it is a battle to get her to go to sleep- even when she's exhausted. She has also started crying out in her sleep which she has never done before. I don't feel that it's a coincidence that these things have started happening since the beginning of school. I think the combined classroom is too much for her.
The thing is, she loves school. She loves her friends at that school. She loves the teachers and the aides. And they care about her so much. I don't know what to do! After school today I had a good discussion with one of Lila's teachers- not the one from last year, but her new teacher that was in the other class last year. While we talked, one of the aides voluntarily walked around with Lila so that I could talk without being distracted. The teacher didn't have to stand around with me for that long after school. And the aide definitely wasn't obligated to play with Lila so that we could talk. These people genuinely care about my daughter! I don't feel like I'm fighting the system, I just feel caught between a rock and a hard place. I don't feel like this is the best situation for Lila but pulling her out will mean taking her away from everything she knows and is comfortable with! As I pulled away from the school, I started singing "You are my sunshine" to Lila, like I do every day. (Singing calms her down when nothing else will, so I usually try to sing with her the whole way home.) I didn't even make it through "you make me happy" and I was bawling like a baby. That in itself hacked me off because I had just showered and my makeup was freshly done. HA! I realize that I'm running on very little sleep and a crazy schedule but this is a big issue and must be resolved for her sake.
Tomorrow we have an appointment with our private OT, Kelly. Kelly and I have been talking about the combined classroom and she's very concerned about over-stimulation. She said from the beginning that it might be way too much for Lila to handle and that we would have to keep a close eye on her. Nick has tomorrow off and will be going with me to the OT appointment so we'll all be able to talk and decide what the next step should be. I would like for Kelly to observe Lila in the classroom setting but will need to convince the school administration that we're not requesting this because we're unhappy with the school. On the contrary. Lila has great teachers, aides and therapists. We're very happy there. We just want our old set-up back, with 2 classrooms. Since that isn't going to happen, we have to decide how to move forward and what will be in Lila's best interest.
I realize this is not a very upbeat post and I still need to post pictures from the birthday party but I really needed to get this off my chest.
Opinions and feedback are always welcome~
Linda
I mentioned in a couple of earlier posts that I am very concerned about the situation at Lila's school. They combined the special education preschool classes into one class this year. It's not something that could be helped, as the school's population tripled in size and I think they just ran out of classrooms. I feel that the ECSE (Early Childhood Special Education) program got screwed, but that's just my opinion. So instead of having a maximum of 10 kids in the room with 2 teachers, there is now a maximum of 20 kids with 4 teachers (2 teachers, 2 aides). On their busiest day they only have 14 kids, but that's a lot of kids. That's a lot of noise. That's a lot of stimulation. For someone with sensory issues, like Lila, that could mean a lot of trouble. And it looks like that's what is happening.
I have heard from both teachers and both aides that they are having problems with Lila. She's not listening very well. It seems that Lila is one of their problem children as we definitely aren't getting positive feedback like other parents are. If I thought this was strictly a discipline problem I wouldn't be so worried right now. Somehow I just don't think it is. Lila's actually been getting better at listening when she's at home, especially on the weekends. During the week, when I pick her up from school, she's exhausted but too stimulated to sleep at nap time. I brush her and do joint compressions, which calms her down quite a bit, but I still have to hold her very firmly and rock her until she goes to sleep. That usually takes 15-20 minutes when she's been at school but much less time on the weekends. In the evenings on school days it is a battle to get her to go to sleep- even when she's exhausted. She has also started crying out in her sleep which she has never done before. I don't feel that it's a coincidence that these things have started happening since the beginning of school. I think the combined classroom is too much for her.
The thing is, she loves school. She loves her friends at that school. She loves the teachers and the aides. And they care about her so much. I don't know what to do! After school today I had a good discussion with one of Lila's teachers- not the one from last year, but her new teacher that was in the other class last year. While we talked, one of the aides voluntarily walked around with Lila so that I could talk without being distracted. The teacher didn't have to stand around with me for that long after school. And the aide definitely wasn't obligated to play with Lila so that we could talk. These people genuinely care about my daughter! I don't feel like I'm fighting the system, I just feel caught between a rock and a hard place. I don't feel like this is the best situation for Lila but pulling her out will mean taking her away from everything she knows and is comfortable with! As I pulled away from the school, I started singing "You are my sunshine" to Lila, like I do every day. (Singing calms her down when nothing else will, so I usually try to sing with her the whole way home.) I didn't even make it through "you make me happy" and I was bawling like a baby. That in itself hacked me off because I had just showered and my makeup was freshly done. HA! I realize that I'm running on very little sleep and a crazy schedule but this is a big issue and must be resolved for her sake.
Tomorrow we have an appointment with our private OT, Kelly. Kelly and I have been talking about the combined classroom and she's very concerned about over-stimulation. She said from the beginning that it might be way too much for Lila to handle and that we would have to keep a close eye on her. Nick has tomorrow off and will be going with me to the OT appointment so we'll all be able to talk and decide what the next step should be. I would like for Kelly to observe Lila in the classroom setting but will need to convince the school administration that we're not requesting this because we're unhappy with the school. On the contrary. Lila has great teachers, aides and therapists. We're very happy there. We just want our old set-up back, with 2 classrooms. Since that isn't going to happen, we have to decide how to move forward and what will be in Lila's best interest.
I realize this is not a very upbeat post and I still need to post pictures from the birthday party but I really needed to get this off my chest.
Opinions and feedback are always welcome~
Linda
Here you go, Donna!
In color, for my sister, so she can see the color of Lila's dress. : )
Hugs!
Linda
Hugs!Linda
Happy Birthday Lila!
Our beautiful angel is 3 years old today. Happy Birthday Sweet Girl! We love you more than words can say!
So tall!
Looking at her "sissy"
Hugs~
Linda
The birthday girl
So tall!
Looking at her "sissy"
Hugs~Linda
Just Because.....
Time for a quick "gratitude" post- quick not because I'm short on gratitude, just short on time.
I'm grateful that Lila's teachers care about her very much.
I'm grateful that Lila gets go of my hand, takes her teacher's hand, and walks happily into her school every morning.
I'm grateful that when school is over, when she sees me, she tries to run to meet me.
I'm grateful that my husband cares about the little things.
I'm grateful that when Justin calls home he wants to talk to his little sister.
I'm grateful that Tiffani called today as I was picking Lila up from school asking if I was coming straight home so that she could see her little sister before she left for class.
I'm grateful that even though I don't get to see my family very often, I feel their love every single day.
Last but not least, I'm grateful that the plans for Lila's birthday party are coming together.
I am a blessed woman!
Linda
I'm grateful that Lila's teachers care about her very much.
I'm grateful that Lila gets go of my hand, takes her teacher's hand, and walks happily into her school every morning.
I'm grateful that when school is over, when she sees me, she tries to run to meet me.
I'm grateful that my husband cares about the little things.
I'm grateful that when Justin calls home he wants to talk to his little sister.
I'm grateful that Tiffani called today as I was picking Lila up from school asking if I was coming straight home so that she could see her little sister before she left for class.
I'm grateful that even though I don't get to see my family very often, I feel their love every single day.
Last but not least, I'm grateful that the plans for Lila's birthday party are coming together.
I am a blessed woman!
Linda
Sunday Morning Routine
Every Sunday morning Nick and Lila go outside and bring in the papers. I love to watch them together, it's so sweet.
Wonder Pets have the right idea......
I love the show "Wonder Pets", their theme song is so catchy. "What's gonna work, teamwork, what's gonna work, teamwork!" Lila loves to sing that song and I love the way she says "work", is sounds like "Wook". It's so cute.
Speaking of teamwork, I love the way my husband and I work as a team most of the time. I say most of the time, because, well, ya know, nothing's perfect. : ) Lila's school starts at 7:50 a.m. and on a good day it's a 20 minute drive to her school. Add to that the fact that if we leave the house any later than 7:18 we sit behind every school bus in the neighborhood, and you'll figure out that Lila has to get up pretty early! So do her parents. : ) Nick wakes Lila up around 6:30 a.m. on school days. He gives her time to wake up then gets her out of bed and she stumbles in to say good morning to me with a sleepy hug. Nick and Lila have breakfast together while I pick out her clothes and pack her backpack with diapers, wipes and snacks. Then Nick gets her ready for school and puts her in the car. She always says, "Love you, daddy" and gives him a big kiss with her hands on each side of his face. It's so sweet. As we're backing out of the driveway, he stands in the doorway and they wave to each other the whole time.
I am so blessed to have a husband that helps so much. Some women I know have to do most, if not all of the "home stuff". I'm thankful that my husband doesn't leave everything to me.
Linda
Speaking of teamwork, I love the way my husband and I work as a team most of the time. I say most of the time, because, well, ya know, nothing's perfect. : ) Lila's school starts at 7:50 a.m. and on a good day it's a 20 minute drive to her school. Add to that the fact that if we leave the house any later than 7:18 we sit behind every school bus in the neighborhood, and you'll figure out that Lila has to get up pretty early! So do her parents. : ) Nick wakes Lila up around 6:30 a.m. on school days. He gives her time to wake up then gets her out of bed and she stumbles in to say good morning to me with a sleepy hug. Nick and Lila have breakfast together while I pick out her clothes and pack her backpack with diapers, wipes and snacks. Then Nick gets her ready for school and puts her in the car. She always says, "Love you, daddy" and gives him a big kiss with her hands on each side of his face. It's so sweet. As we're backing out of the driveway, he stands in the doorway and they wave to each other the whole time.
I am so blessed to have a husband that helps so much. Some women I know have to do most, if not all of the "home stuff". I'm thankful that my husband doesn't leave everything to me.
Linda
First Day of School- Warning: Facebook Repeat!
Lila's first day of school went well. She was excited to be back, I could tell. She loves her teachers and her little friends. Here she is at home before we left for school.
Fine~ I'll give you one smile but then we're getting in the car!
Lila, our social butterly. Check out her dad in the background- he's a nervous man today!
Sunday football! Cheering on the Minnesota Vikings!
Hugs~
Linda
Mom! Seriously? We're going to be late!
Fine~ I'll give you one smile but then we're getting in the car!
Lila with Ashley and Celine
Lila, our social butterly. Check out her dad in the background- he's a nervous man today!
Sunday football! Cheering on the Minnesota Vikings!
Hugs~
Linda
Thoughts.................
Today, as I was out trying to gather pink and brown items for Lila's birthday party, I saw a few things that really made me think. I might have already been a bit sad, because I miss my family like crazy, but that's a post for another day. The first thing I saw was a man and two kids in a pickup, I'm assuming it was a dad and his kids. In the back of the pickup was a huge advertisement for a furniture store going out of business. It looked like they had been there all day. They were in good spirits, from what I heard, singing and playing "I spy". It still made me sad. I don't feel like it was the guy's choice to have his kids in a pickup all day but I'm guessing he doesn't have a lot of options. I'm thinking he needs the money.
Next stop- Michael's bathroom. Apparently I had WAAAYYY too much water to drink on the way there. Unfortunately for me, there was a stroller in front of both stalls. Not good. A lady started talking to me from inside one of the stalls. "Sorry about my stroller, honey, I'll move it in a minute. It's big, huh? Sure is. I swore I'd never have a double stroller but 3 months after I had my second child I got a surprise. Pregnant again. So now I have a 5 year old, a 3 year old and a 1 1/2 year old. Crazy, huh?" I'm thinking, Yeah, crazy. And I have to pee in a big way. I said, "Uh-huh". She said, "Sorry I'm talking your ear off and I can't even see you." She comes out of the bathroom stall with a toddler in her arms. "Oh, hi! Here, let me move my stroller. Sorry. We can't afford another stroller so even when I'm only out with one of the younger kids I have to bring this one. It's so big and bulky, ya know?" I walk into a stall, she takes a breath then keeps talking. "We had to come to Michael's today because my daughter started Kindergarten and she wanted a few things to decorate her folder for school. She's tall, huh? Way taller than all of the other kids in her class. She missed the kindergarten cut-off date last year by 23 days. She had to go to another year of preschool. Can you believe that? " She said something else after that but I had to flush the toilet. She kept talking. I won't go on and on about all that she told me about herself and her family, but obviously the girl needed to talk. She reminded me of myself when I first moved to Virginia. I was so lonely that I would go to the grocery store every single day just to have human contact outside of my husband and son. I felt for her.
Checking out at Michael's the person waiting on me was a young man about Justin's age. He either couldn't move the right side of his body or had difficulty doing so. The woman in front of me either didn't notice, didn't care or didn't know how to handle the situation. The guy was having a hard time separating the bags from each other. He finally got one separated but couldn't get it open. He tried for a couple of seconds, then ended up handing it to the woman so she could open it herself. She said, "Oh, um, thanks," and helped him put her purchases into the bag. It was my turn then and when he was finished ringing everything up I opened a bag, looked him in the eye and said, "I got you". He said a very sincere "thanks" and smiled at me. I wasn't sure if that was the right thing to do but it turned out okay.
This post reminds me of a quote by Drew Barrymore. "I cry a lot. I'll cry because I see a person walking down the street looking lonely."
I don't cry a lot, but lately I am acutely aware of hurting people. They are everywhere.
Hugs~
Linda
Next stop- Michael's bathroom. Apparently I had WAAAYYY too much water to drink on the way there. Unfortunately for me, there was a stroller in front of both stalls. Not good. A lady started talking to me from inside one of the stalls. "Sorry about my stroller, honey, I'll move it in a minute. It's big, huh? Sure is. I swore I'd never have a double stroller but 3 months after I had my second child I got a surprise. Pregnant again. So now I have a 5 year old, a 3 year old and a 1 1/2 year old. Crazy, huh?" I'm thinking, Yeah, crazy. And I have to pee in a big way. I said, "Uh-huh". She said, "Sorry I'm talking your ear off and I can't even see you." She comes out of the bathroom stall with a toddler in her arms. "Oh, hi! Here, let me move my stroller. Sorry. We can't afford another stroller so even when I'm only out with one of the younger kids I have to bring this one. It's so big and bulky, ya know?" I walk into a stall, she takes a breath then keeps talking. "We had to come to Michael's today because my daughter started Kindergarten and she wanted a few things to decorate her folder for school. She's tall, huh? Way taller than all of the other kids in her class. She missed the kindergarten cut-off date last year by 23 days. She had to go to another year of preschool. Can you believe that? " She said something else after that but I had to flush the toilet. She kept talking. I won't go on and on about all that she told me about herself and her family, but obviously the girl needed to talk. She reminded me of myself when I first moved to Virginia. I was so lonely that I would go to the grocery store every single day just to have human contact outside of my husband and son. I felt for her.
Checking out at Michael's the person waiting on me was a young man about Justin's age. He either couldn't move the right side of his body or had difficulty doing so. The woman in front of me either didn't notice, didn't care or didn't know how to handle the situation. The guy was having a hard time separating the bags from each other. He finally got one separated but couldn't get it open. He tried for a couple of seconds, then ended up handing it to the woman so she could open it herself. She said, "Oh, um, thanks," and helped him put her purchases into the bag. It was my turn then and when he was finished ringing everything up I opened a bag, looked him in the eye and said, "I got you". He said a very sincere "thanks" and smiled at me. I wasn't sure if that was the right thing to do but it turned out okay.
This post reminds me of a quote by Drew Barrymore. "I cry a lot. I'll cry because I see a person walking down the street looking lonely."
I don't cry a lot, but lately I am acutely aware of hurting people. They are everywhere.
Hugs~
Linda
Orthotics and Walking Shoes
A few people have asked me to give details about Lila's orthotics. We paid $800 for the pair. Our insurance covered $152 of that. Not great but better than nothing.
Unfortunately, these are the only shoes they fit into.
In other news, the threat of Swine Flu has me washing Lila's hands even more often. Poor little thing, she's not tall enough to reach the sink so I end up holding her which I'm sure hurts her stomach. I finally found a stool for her today. A princess stool. She loves it. Here's a picture of the top of it. My niece, Jaralei, has called Lila "The fairest of them all" since she was born.
She's very serious about hand-washing.
Love this one on her tippy-toes.
I still owe pics of vacation and first day of school. Soon.
Hugs~
Linda
Here they are:
Unfortunately, these are the only shoes they fit into.
So I guess that means she won't be wearing these very often.
In other news, the threat of Swine Flu has me washing Lila's hands even more often. Poor little thing, she's not tall enough to reach the sink so I end up holding her which I'm sure hurts her stomach. I finally found a stool for her today. A princess stool. She loves it. Here's a picture of the top of it. My niece, Jaralei, has called Lila "The fairest of them all" since she was born.
This one's for you, Jaralei.
Washing her face too- a girl can't be too careful, you know!
She's very serious about hand-washing.
Love this one on her tippy-toes.
I still owe pics of vacation and first day of school. Soon.
Hugs~
Linda
Back to School................................
Lila, along with the rest of the country, went back to school today. I mentioned in one of my previous posts how worried I am about the upcoming school year because of the combined classes. Lila's sweet teacher read the post and e-mailed me last night to reassure me. We are so blessed to have her as one of Lila's teachers. (And I'm not just saying that because she reads my blog sometimes. Trust me.) While I was feeling better about the school situation I heard some horrible news yesterday that I just couldn't stop thinking about. An 18 year old girl that I hadn't seen in over 10 years died in a car accident on Sunday in Texas. She was driving with a friend when an oncoming car crossed over the line. She was killed on impact and her friend died the next day. I had worked with both of her parents for about 6 years. Her dad, who travels a lot, was home for the long weekend and was there with his wife when the police knocked at the door. That would be devastating news to hear but I'm so thankful that at least her parents were together when they got the news of their daughter's death. I really can't stop thinking about this. I realize that things like this happen every single day. Yesterday it just happened to affect me in a very distant way. I didn't know this girl. I really don't even know her parents anymore, yet they have been on my mind all day. It makes you think, ya know? Those people were just going about their business, and all of a sudden, BOOM. Life as they knew it is over. And sometimes it takes something like this to shake you. This shook me. I'm hearing a little voice saying, "Get your priorities in order. Focus on what's important. Reach out to people that are hurting. Be Jesus' hands and feet to those around you." Sometimes I get so caught up in my life, my stuff. My daughter has Down Syndrome so I need to help her be all that she can possibly be. My older kids have big decisions to make and I want to be there for them and help them in any way I can. My husband isn't exactly thrilled with his job, and I'm a little worried about him. Oh, and I need to work out, my roots are showing, blah, blah, blah. Obviously I can't stop living and I can't stop taking care of my family. But there are things that I can change. Some of my priorities need to shift a bit. I'm going to work on that.
I guess I'll blog about Lila's first day of school tomorrow.
Hug your precious family today~
Linda
I guess I'll blog about Lila's first day of school tomorrow.
Hug your precious family today~
Linda
A text from Tif
I just got a text from Tif:
Just passed a group of students that have Down Syndrome. I love it!
My response- I love it too!
A group of students with Down Syndrome attending college. That's awesome. It makes me sad that people with DS were not given a chance to thrive in the past. I'm so thankful that things have changed.
Hugs!
Linda
Just passed a group of students that have Down Syndrome. I love it!
My response- I love it too!
A group of students with Down Syndrome attending college. That's awesome. It makes me sad that people with DS were not given a chance to thrive in the past. I'm so thankful that things have changed.
Hugs!
Linda
3 day weekends
Long weekends really mess with my mind. All day yesterday I was thinking that today was Monday. When I looked at Tiffani's schedule for today, I looked at Monday's schedule. I planned my entire week with tomorrow being Tuesday. It's not. It's Wednesday. I was laying down with Lila a few minutes ago, mentally going over my plans for the week and it hit me. My eyes flew open. Yikes! Tomorrow is Wednesday! I do Meals on Wheels on Wednesdays!
I'm so glad I realized that before it was too late. I would have felt like total crap if I missed doing my route tomorrow. I love love love the people on my route. Did I mention that I love them? Seriously. My favorite, even though I try not to pick favorites, is a man that's the second house on my route. I can't give his name or even the name of his street, so for now I will call him the man in the second house on my route. It's actually a couple that lives in the house, but I've never seen the woman. Every Wednesday this man, who spends his days caring for his wife who has dementia, answers the door with a smile. He has the kindest blue eyes- they remind me of my dad's eyes. We talk about the weather, current events, and what he's having for lunch that day. I can't stay long, because I have to monitor the temperatures of the rest of the meals that are waiting in the car. But I'd like to. I'd love to ask him about his wife, and how they met. He's a WWII vet, and he received a purple heart in the war. (I know that because it's on his license plate.) I'd like to ask him about that too. What act of heroism was done to merit that distinguished honor? I wish I knew the answers to those questions. For now, I have the privilege of delivering lunch on Wednesdays for him and his wife. And that makes my heart happy.
Hugs~
Linda
I'm so glad I realized that before it was too late. I would have felt like total crap if I missed doing my route tomorrow. I love love love the people on my route. Did I mention that I love them? Seriously. My favorite, even though I try not to pick favorites, is a man that's the second house on my route. I can't give his name or even the name of his street, so for now I will call him the man in the second house on my route. It's actually a couple that lives in the house, but I've never seen the woman. Every Wednesday this man, who spends his days caring for his wife who has dementia, answers the door with a smile. He has the kindest blue eyes- they remind me of my dad's eyes. We talk about the weather, current events, and what he's having for lunch that day. I can't stay long, because I have to monitor the temperatures of the rest of the meals that are waiting in the car. But I'd like to. I'd love to ask him about his wife, and how they met. He's a WWII vet, and he received a purple heart in the war. (I know that because it's on his license plate.) I'd like to ask him about that too. What act of heroism was done to merit that distinguished honor? I wish I knew the answers to those questions. For now, I have the privilege of delivering lunch on Wednesdays for him and his wife. And that makes my heart happy.
Hugs~
Linda
One of the kids................
We hung out with the neighbors tonight and Lila had a great time. It was so nice!
She was running around (alright, so she was walking fast) playing with tennis balls, blowing bubbles, riding in a little car, laying on a blanket.......
You know, just being a kid. It was great. Nobody brought up the fact that she has Down Syndrome, nobody mentioned the fact that she's turning 3 in two weeks but seems more like a young 2 year old. Nobody cared. Tonight, she was just one of the kids.
It was fabulous.
Happy happy day~
Linda
She was running around (alright, so she was walking fast) playing with tennis balls, blowing bubbles, riding in a little car, laying on a blanket.......
You know, just being a kid. It was great. Nobody brought up the fact that she has Down Syndrome, nobody mentioned the fact that she's turning 3 in two weeks but seems more like a young 2 year old. Nobody cared. Tonight, she was just one of the kids.
It was fabulous.
Happy happy day~
Linda
As the week draws to a close, I am excited about the new adventures that next week will hold. Lila will start her second year of Early Childhood Special Education preschool, at the same school but with a few changes. Last year there were 2 ECSE classes at her school. This year they are combining the classes in the same classroom with 2 teachers and 2 aides. I believe there are 19 children enrolled but as they all don't attend school on the same days, the maximum number of students in the classroom on any given day is 14. I am a little worried about the changes, mostly because of Lila's sensory issues. It will be busier and noisier than last year. The teachers have assured me that they are mindful of these issues and will keep a close eye on her. Time will tell. I still feel like we're making the right decision, BUT...........................................
I'm going to miss her so much. We've had so much fun this summer. Now that she's walking and talking, we have become so close. She's my little buddy. I have cried so much this week just thinking about her going back to school. I know that it's the best thing for her, Nick and I agree 100% on that. But my time with her is going to be cut in half and I don't like it. Not one bit.
This morning I was laying in bed, trying to wake up, thinking about how I've been feeling about the summer ending. As the all-too-familiar tears started to sting my eyes, my mind went back to how I felt when I found out I was pregnant with her. I was so angry. I was ready for "me" time. I felt as if I'd been robbed. Or cheated. That I'd done my time raising kids and now I was going to be "burdened" with doing it all over again. I'm ashamed of the way I felt but that's not what struck me this morning. What struck me is how God changed my heart, before she was ever born. I consider it a privilege to be her mom and even though sometimes it's hard work, and I'm exhausted, it's all worth it. She's worth it. She is the most precious, loving and contagiously happy person I've ever met. She is the sunshine of our family and we can't imagine our lives without her.
I wonder if she would have survived against all odds had I maintained my anger and self-pity. I think about the guilt that I would live with had she not been born. I would have blamed myself, and rightfully so. Thanks to God~His grace, patience and unconditional love, I will never feel that guilt.
Proud and humbled to be her mama~
Linda
I'm going to miss her so much. We've had so much fun this summer. Now that she's walking and talking, we have become so close. She's my little buddy. I have cried so much this week just thinking about her going back to school. I know that it's the best thing for her, Nick and I agree 100% on that. But my time with her is going to be cut in half and I don't like it. Not one bit.
This morning I was laying in bed, trying to wake up, thinking about how I've been feeling about the summer ending. As the all-too-familiar tears started to sting my eyes, my mind went back to how I felt when I found out I was pregnant with her. I was so angry. I was ready for "me" time. I felt as if I'd been robbed. Or cheated. That I'd done my time raising kids and now I was going to be "burdened" with doing it all over again. I'm ashamed of the way I felt but that's not what struck me this morning. What struck me is how God changed my heart, before she was ever born. I consider it a privilege to be her mom and even though sometimes it's hard work, and I'm exhausted, it's all worth it. She's worth it. She is the most precious, loving and contagiously happy person I've ever met. She is the sunshine of our family and we can't imagine our lives without her.
I wonder if she would have survived against all odds had I maintained my anger and self-pity. I think about the guilt that I would live with had she not been born. I would have blamed myself, and rightfully so. Thanks to God~His grace, patience and unconditional love, I will never feel that guilt.
Proud and humbled to be her mama~
Linda
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