You've changed...

Having a typical child

changes you.
But it's much different

than the change 
that happens when

you have a child with

a disability.

Family members and friends

who knew you before the 

birth of your child with a disability

will comment on how you have changed.

And when you think about it,

you know they are right.

How could you not change?

Your expectations change.
The vision of your 
child's future changes. 
You begin the journey
of acceptance.
You have to adjust to
your new "normal".
The word "normal" starts
 to get on your nerves a bit. 

You start celebrating,
and I mean really celebrating
milestones that people
with typical kids take for granted.  

You don't give up on your dreams
for your child but your
dreams definitely change. 

You try not to compare your child
with typical kids but sometimes
it's so in-your-face  
that it's hard not to.
And then you realize
that it has to stop.
It's not fair to your child 
and it's not fair to you.
You continue the journey
of acceptance.
Accepting your child 
just as they are.

You begin to see
the beauty in them
more than ever before.
Their joy.
Their unconditional love.
Their perseverance.
Their determination.
You start to notice
the things they CAN do
instead of focusing on what
they haven't mastered yet. 
 You change.  
 

You become a research fanatic,

equipping yourself to be the

best advocate possible

for your child.
Medical terms and
educational terms you
had never heard before
the change become
everyday words to you.

When you see another parent

of a differently abled child

you feel drawn to them

when you once would have

walked right past without

even noticing them.

You use words like 

"differently abled" instead of

"special needs" or 

"mentally handicapped".

The word "retarded"

makes the hair on the

back of your neck stand up.

Even though you try not

to let it bother you.

Even though you used

the word yourself

before the change. 

Even though people have

labeled you "too sensitive"

about it.

You can't help it.

You change.

And as you become 

aware of people  

who are prejudiced

against your child 

you also become aware

of your own prejudices

 against others.  

Your own closed

 mindedness comes

to light. 

You don't want 

to stay that way.

You soften.

You change. 

Some of your old friends

accept the change.

Some don't.

They distance themselves.

Maybe they don't 

know what to say.

Maybe they just can't

handle it all.

Whatever the reason,

they are no longer around.

You make new friends.

Friends who get it.

Friends who become like family.

Friends who become your lifeline.

Me?

Yes.

I have changed.

I'm probably a

little less flippant,

a little more serious.

I find joy in the

simple things and

beauty in places I

would have never 

bothered to look

before the change. 

I avoid words like

"tolerance"

and embrace words like

"acceptance".

I am committed

to judge less and

forgive more.

This sweet girl 
changed my life.

This sweet girl came along

and changed it even more!