The not-so-fabulous day

Warning: 
Scattered post with blurry cell phone pictures ahead!
 

Today we hung out at Children's 
for Lila's IVIG treatment.    

 The day started out okay.   

Lila slept well last night

 and was in pretty good spirits at the 

beginning of the appointment.  

The doctor left his stethoscope in the room

 so Lila had lots of fun using it.

 

When Lila got her IV it was a little rough.   

The nurses had a hard time finding a vein

 and then the vein wouldn't flush.  

They messed with it until it finally worked

 but I know we were all wondering if the vein

 was going to hold up. 

 It did for a while.

Then the nurse noticed that Lila's arm was swollen.  

The vein was blown.  They had to try the other arm. 

 The vein in the second arm was much easier to find 

and despite the tears flowing down Lila's cheeks 

and the three of us it took to keep her in my lap 

they got her IVIG started again.

The IVIG had been going for about 10 minutes

 when I noticed that Lila's arm looked swollen 

so I  called the nurse.  Second vein blown.   

Fabulous.   

They tried a second vein on the first arm 

after applying a heat compress but it was a no-go.  

We decided to call it a day.    

The pharmacist told me that it was impossible 

to tell exactly how much of the treatment Lila had received 

but she figured it was about half.  

We decided that I would keep an eye on Lila 

and call to reschedule the remainder of the treatment 

in the next couple of days.

On our way out we passed by the doctor's office.  

He knew that the the nurses were having trouble

 with Lila's veins so he asked if everything had worked out 

and I told him no, that she had two blown veins 

and a third try was unsuccessful.   

He came out of his office and asked me to sit down.  

He asked me if we had ever considered the fact that

 Lila might need a Mediport.   

He told me that the time has come.  

Lila's veins need a break 

and she will be needing monthly IVIG treatments

 for an extended period of time so it just makes sense. 

 He asked me to give him 24 hours to submit the order

 to the pediatric surgical center and gave me the number 

to call and schedule the procedure 

to install the port.

On the way home both girls fell asleep 

which gave me some time to think.  

 

A port is definitely not the end of the world.   

Every month at Children's I watch kids come and go 

who are having a much rougher time than my daughter. 

 I get it.  

Honestly I don't think I'm even that upset

 about the fact that she has to get a port 

as I've been expecting that to happen sooner or later.   

I think it was just the whole experience that got to me.

 She had red marks on her arms 
where I was holding her because
she was fighting so hard to get out of my lap.  

My arms were soaking wet 
where her tears were falling on me. 
 And she just kept saying, "No, mommy, no.   

Please mommy please."    

And there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.