I ignored it the first time. I just let it slide by. The guy didn't mean any harm, so why not?

Tiffani and I were sitting in the AT&T store. We were the only customers in the store. My phone died, so I was forced to get a new one. (It's fabulous.)

We were chatting with the AT&T rep as he worked on our new contract. We were talking about how difficult it is to obtain a driver's license in the state of Virginia. "It's retarded!" he said. And I let it slide. "It really is ridiculous" I replied.

Tiffani left, I stayed. It seemed to be taking a really long time, but I had no choice. We continued to talk. He asked about Tiffani (big surprise) and I told him about all of my kids. He was shocked. "You have a 23 year old, a 22 year old and a 3 year old?"

We talked some more, this time about moving to Northern Virginia. How we both had a hard time adjusting to the area at first. He said, "It's crazy around here. Retarded." This time I couldn't stay quiet. "Well," I said, "I wouldn't say retarded, but it was difficult."

He just looked at me.

I decided to get internet service on my new phone. I was surprised when he told me how inexpensive it was. I explained to him that it would come in handy to me. How awesome it would be to check my e-mail while waiting for Lila. After school, during therapy sessions. He looked at me with a puzzled expression. "Therapy? For a 3 year old?" (Interesting how therapy sessions are just a way of life for us yet it all sounds so foreign to others.)

I told him that Lila has Down Syndrome. "What?" he asked. So I told him again. "Down Syndrome". "Oh," he said. "I'm sorry."

I told him what I always say when people say they are sorry. "Don't be. She's awesome!" And I proceeded to tell him about her. I showed him her picture. Again, he looked shocked. "She's cute! Wow. She's really cute."

And then he said, "Good for you! Good for you and your family."

I have to agree. Good for us.

Hugs~


Linda

8 comments:

  1. He really was a very nice guy- just a little ignorant... like so many people are.

    Glad he could see how lucky we all are. :)

    Also- I agree about therapy sounding foreign to others. Whenever I talk about Lila going to therapy they all look so confused. PT,OT and Speech are certainly not the first things that pop into many minds.

    Ok. I'm done. Love you!

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  2. This happens to me all the time when I tell someone my son has DS. Their first instinct is to offer sympathy. It can sometimes get awkward but you handled it beautifully.

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  3. Wow, such a great way to handle it! I like your response to "I'm Sorry"...I always wonder what to say after someone says that so thank you for the idea!

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  4. Great job of saying something to him about the R word, whether he got it or not, and whether he made the connection between the R word, Ds, and Lila... I guess you never know if it'll make him think twice next time.

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  5. Thanks for sharing - and I loved reading Tiffany's comment. While I hate hearing the R word, I have to remember that ignorance for some is just due to lack of exposure - not a desire to hurt anybody. You handled this beautifully!

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